Myxomatosis Took Its Toll

by ilyAIMY

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about

Recorded Live at five different venues scattered from North Carolina to Providence, RI. At this point, ilyAIMY consists of rob, Heather Lloyd, Sharif Kellogg on bass and keyboards, and Rowan Corbett on percussion and occasional bass.

credits

released January 1, 2005

rob Hinkal: guitar, vocals
Heather Lloyd: guitar, vocals, percussion
Sharif Kellogg: bass, keyboards
Rowan Corbett: percussion, occasional bass

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about

ilyAIMY Baltimore, Maryland

ilyAIMY is a percussive acoustic rock animal hailing from Baltimore, MD. Mixing genres from rock to folk to soul to bluegrass; flavours as varied as jazz and hip hop curl through what is undoubtedly one of the most exciting sounds in today’s folk(ish) music scene. Instrumentation includes acoustic guitars, cello, djembe, Irish bones, keyboard, bass, drums & harmonies. ... more

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Track Name: Pine
There's a beauty to soft woods with knots that untangle
easily by chisel, easier by saw
but press a finger deep and you may even dent the surface
like talc, parading as a rock, one scratch removed from dust

No my grain is not complicated
But my heart is solid and well-made
Pleasantly understated
and I might be the wood
But you're the lathe

No, I'm not too proud to bend to fit the space I'm given
You can cut the dovetails right into my spine
For you I would crush myself to paper
and drink up your every word like wine

No, my grain is not complicated
But my heart is solid and it is well-made
And I might be just pleasantly understated
and I might be the wood
But you're gonna pine

I might be scraped and scarred,
but they say I've got a lot of character.
And I will probably fail to warm you
by the fire that you make here.
Every day I get less new but maybe more amazing,
but I promise I'm in progress
and i might be worth the waiting.

I wish I could have been born purple heart
I'd love to bleed like that
hearing everyone say how pretty
when they saw me in half
but in me's a sweetness untapped.

You take me down when the year if over
just one more past-tense passion it's time to put away
and all the sparkle you put on me
is boxed up for next year's love,
next year's tree.

And I will let you put me in a box
just as long as it is mine
one day they will bury me in a redundant skin
people are buried in me all the time.

I don't know when I started believing
to be good you have to be defeated
so I am good but I am lonely.
I am good but I am lonely.

I tried to slip a splinter underneath your skin
when you weren't looking.
you weren't looking.
But I missed.

©2003 heather lloyd
Track Name: Will
the rain came down
back washing alley ways
drowning men out of holes...
the water ran red
as people lost skin
and a frightened young man
looked down upon his toes...
he¹s in danger of getting his feet so wet
ships are tossing down in the harbour
the wind is raising, the rain came pounding down
ships are sinking down in the harbour
as the waves came up
they climbed past the dykes, they climbed past the fenceposts
the snuck past the sentries and lapped at the locked tight doors
as the rains came down

these are our martyrs and these are our prayers
these are our Lives...

down in the harbour there forms a storm
that could wipe us all clean of Life.
Hold tight now and close your eyes now
and hope the storm pass you by.
Then came a woman, a hero a martyr,
she needed no comfort.
Down in the harbour she walked in the sky
she walked on the waves, she walked on water.

these are our martyrs and these are our prayers
these are our Lives.
They are given to us to do with as we see fit
rest assured that we Will.

with a 6 foot frame, she walked on the ocean floor,
she shone like copper.
With a 6 foot frame she walked with the sun,
she walked too high to see.
With a 6 foot frame she asked me to walk with her,
6 foot tall with her.
She turned to me and whispered:
"Don't fear the storm."

And now the water is 6 foot deep
and the people in the mud, another 6 foot under.
It¹s a struggle, such a struggle to keep my head above water.
I¹m clinging on to Mary¹s shoulders
and I¹m standing up on Mary¹s shoulders
I¹m weighing down on Mary¹s shoulders...
as she drowns.

these are our martyrs and these are our prayers
these are our Lives.
They are given to us to do with as we see fit
rest assured that I Will.

©1997 rob hinkal
Track Name: Bearclaw's Mule
this city is built on the ashes of rats
you can grind them underfoot if you wish
thanks for the warning but I think I'll stay
I sit back and sprawl and stare at it all
a curtain in breeze it blocks me
I turn away from the window

with its lights and its gutters the city screams and she mutters
you turn over sleeping
you're catching light in a different way
seems I spend so much time just facing this wall
I don't know what I suppose this wall should do

Bearclaw dreams of saints in the city waiting
Bearclaw dreams of strength
she dreams up something better

Baltimore is built on the bones of rats
you can crack them underfoot if you wish
thanks for the warning but I think I'll just stand here
I sit back and sprawl and stare at the stars
with my hand on your back without feeling

did I stand too tall?
did I stand too firm?
did I listen to you?
did I listen to you at all?

on a night like tonight between thunder and light
North Ave is a war zone
the cops clean up when the shooting stops
on street level it's dog-eat-dog
but on the third floor we hoped and we prayed
we prayed for something better.

did I stand too tall?
did I stand too firm?
did I listen to you?
did I listen to you at all?

Bearclaw dreams of strength in the city waning
Bearclaw dreams of saints
she dreams up something better

© rob hinkal.
Track Name: Illinois is Overflowing
I'm so tired of water.
Three inches of rain in the passenger side.
The intestines of cassette tapes
are shining at the curb,
begging just one more play,
begging just one more ride,
but I just keep driving.
I just keep driving.

You close your eyes,
three inches away in the passenger side.
James is on the radio singing,
"Don't let me be loney,"
as I turn off the headlights,
take two states by moonlight,
I can't stop driving.
I can't stop driving.

(chorus)
And you say,
"Baby, it's alright,
the rain's subsiding.
We might even be dry tonight."

My wheels aren't even
touching the ground.
We're flying on faith
that the engine will hold.
Keep us going.
Keep us going.

(chorus)

I'm so tired of highway.
Three miles to the toll at the coming state line.
No quarters but this quarter tank,
we search our empty hands.
As Illinois is overflowing,
we hope for a little change here inside,
so we can keep driving.
So we can keep driving.

(chorus)

© Heather Lloyd
Track Name: Valeri
The flesh in my bones is not quite as thick as it used to be
Some days I think that the ridges in the tips of my fingers have been worn away
I load my back with 16 tons
I'm listening hard for the camel crack

When Fear brought the church to me I thought I'd
Touched stained glass for far too long
My fingers yellowed, my fingers stained
You died in glass that was stained that color.

I found you soft in a cold, dark place,
eyes so wide I could barely see the whites.
In a cold dark place I could not find the softest part
In your eyes
In your eyes

The flesh in my bones is not quite as lush as I thought it was now I find I'm as soft as a cat
I load my head with 16 tons
I'm listening hard for that that I hope is there
I have been told what to do, what to be, what I cannot be.
I have been many things I don't even know what I want to be
I hope I am much stronger for these things that I have been
I thing too clear, too dear, too cold, I fear
I fear I see the bottom of the sea
A thing to clear
She was ice green clouded over
She faded fast as she faded fast
As the sun came clear.
As the sun came clear.

I hunt this photograph that binds you to me
I hunt this dream that I thought was part of you and me
I burn the locket, I collect this ash,
I hold the dust, I hold it dear
until the sun came clear.
Until the sun came clear.

I hunt this photograph that binds you to me
I hunt this dream that I thought was part of you and me
I burn the locket, I collect this ash,
I hold the dust, I hold it dear
until the sun came clear.
Until the sun came clear.
You know I held you so dear.

Like Mary in the sky a small blond skull turned to me
It's time for me to leave
Nothing left but the creature in the corner
Nothing left but the beast behind the door
I let loose, I screamed at the storm
I could have saved her
I could have saved her
I could have saved her
I could have saved her
If I'd only had the time.
If I'd only had the time.
If I'd only took the time.

The flesh on her bones is no longer on her bones,
It has seeped, been stripped it has found and wound it's way
And open, the eyes lie live at the bottom of the sea
They lie accusing me,
They lie accusing me
of everything I wish I could be in her eyes.
In her eyes.
In her eyes.

©1997 rob hinkal
Track Name: In the Water
It's cold down here, but I am used to the chill,
And the fish are more friendly now than when at first I fell,
And the weeds are quicker to dance than when my eyes first closed.
It is my secret hiding place - nobody else knows.

It's dark down here, but I am used to the dim,
And I have the minnows to teach me how to swim.
And I can stay under longer now than even you or dad,
And I'm heavy as a stone and I’m light as a lily pad.

Don't worry mother, I have found another home.
You'll find me in the water. You'll find me in the water.

I know you told me not to stray away too far from home,
And to stay away from strangers who would do me harm,
But he promised I could be the Lady of the Lake,
But he lied because I died just up there in the cave.

But a storm kept his promise and carried me to the deep.
I wear water flowers in my hair and mud between my feet.
Don't cry for me mother, I have found another home.
You'll find me in the water. You'll find me.

Muddy water keeps a secret better than if you lock it up
And throw away the key.
Hush now, Hush now. Go to sleep.
Breathe.

So, I like to tease the rowboats, tickle their bellies, white.
And free fish from hook and net, while boatmen turn their eyes.
They blame it on the hour, on the season, on their luck,
But the trick is it's me all along, they never think to look.

Don't lose sleep for me mother, I have found another home.
You'll find me in the water. You'll find me.

© Heather Lloyd
Track Name: Selkie
I played 6 strings to the harbour,
in 6 foot waves, the music crept...
and she stared at nothing
from another 6 strings...
but there's a tower here,
that I'll knock down,
I'll bulldoze it straight to the ground.
No pain here, no war, no decoration.
I know it's not quite you're style.

I ask,
"Did you ever fall for someone of this stage?
Did anyone ever pull so hard,
that you snapped a string?
Or you're hand slipped?"
She smelled like the desert,
like salt, like a dream,
and I went to the ocean
to talk to the sea...
opposites attract, you see.
I walked to the sea and I slipped inside,
"You know I've always feared you, don't you?
But I want to know how it feels to fill this space.
I want to know how you feel, filling all of this space.

You answered, "It's all in the dance,
you fill the space with how you move
how you hit, and how you strike.
and everyone will fall in Love with you one night.

Did you ever wonder how hard you hit
when you hit so hard?
God, I've hit harder than I thought I could.
You struck so hard,
these 6 strings spent,
so now I'll dance for you.

I tell you, its all in your dance,
you fill the space with how you move,
how you hit, and how you strike...
and everyone fell in Love with you that night.

But, clumsy footed me,
I'd forgotten to dance,
tongue-tied and stupid,
I forfeit everything,
I fell to the beach,
I fell to the sea,
I lost sight of everything,
you lost sight of me...
as the waves wound tighter round my stumbling feet.

©1998 rob hinkal
Track Name: Molotov Swell
And if you are wine
Then I must be turpentine

It's 3 o'clock
not quite as dark as it could get
the first frost was swept back to the sea
and the rain
keeps me awake
with the hope of fingers
on my window pane

these are dangerous games
for dangerous times

You know, it's all in the eye
and it's not my fault that you caught mine
I am an ocean
of emotion
I am turbulent
and fraudulent

and if you are wine
then I choose to drown

I am a black gull crying
from the sea to the spire
I can visit your window
but I can't seem to carry you down

It's 3 o'clock
just about as dark as it can get
but when you light that match I'm going to light up the world
You know I'm ready
you know I'm spread so thin
with all of these people
they've been drinking me
They're taking my soul
right through my eyes
and I don't know
no I don't know why

but if you are fine
than I am fine.

(much extraneous chordage, wailing, gnashing of teeth and guitar bashing)

©2001 rob hinkal
Track Name: Deep in the AM
It's 4am and the scent of your candle
still lingers on my fingers with the scent of your hair
and cigarette ash in the air
my fingertips are stinging from all their overuse
and my voice from the singing
I caught something from you I'm sure
I'm coughing up blood heart's blood
from a wound so deep
most wouldn't even know it was there
catch a glimpse of the moon
the sky's like ice
and though my eyes sting
I wouldn't trade this sensation for anything

Well I know it's the start of the winter season
where the weak things die but the strong thrive
and maybe the moon in December will see us leaping
and maybe the moon in December will just see us fall

It's 5am and I'm caught but good
fresh and full like never before
the moon casts its glare on the wolves outside your door
this Love is in the substance
in everything that we sing
we create this passion from which they all shrink from
whether you carry me or I carry you
we'll get the fame and the glory
standing in the tunnel the trains cut through us
no lying in the ditch they'll just rush by
we'll stare at the lights no squinting
we'll catch every spy by the scruff of his neck
I'll help you through this

I know it's the end of the summer season
where the weak things die and the strong survive
and the moon in July might see us weeping
but the moon in July will see us through

well it's 6am
and the ticking of the clock cuts through me
I turn to my left but you're dead to the world
maybe 7 will find me dreaming
but then again I already am
the dreams in my head fall from my mouth to the bed
maybe they'll lift you up
but maybe I'll weight you down
I know you have an awful lot on your soul
maybe the moon will burn this feirce for three whole days
but its the last of the moment for us to sing to


©1999 rob hinkal
Track Name: Strain
incomplete and left undone
the chord fragmented
left unsung
city-born and city-bred
I'll be lucky if I end up quick city dead

the rats all mutter in the gutter
in the sewer and the rush
as they rat race home
as a beast of burden I can carry my weight
maybe I try too hard

Back in the woods on a wood-lot trail
working hard like an animal should be
I write my songs in a backwoods bedroom
I ignore the snore of the clockgear
and I've been dead for the past six days
that's more than Lazarus ever could claim
back from the dead now look at me
I'm as strong as I ever thought I could be.

some people are better off dead
some people shouldn't try so hard
if they could then they would
but they can't so they won't
so you know you can rest here
so you know you can rest here
don't let them step on what these others
now could become
no no no!

maybe it's the clock gear
that keeps my blood going
and here I thought it was my anger or my rage
or my father or my sex drive, SOMETHING
but maybe it's the fear of the gear
and accompanying arm
and the passage of time
age and life, vitality, strife
maybe it's the blood that keeps the heart pumping

some people can't be left behind
now that they've tried so hard
Just cause they haven't doesn't mean that they won't
so you know you can rest here
so you know you can rest here
don't let them bring down the bird
that you now have become
no no no!

so they think they can break you
maybe you believe that they can
I know that they tried so fucking hard on me
but I found the direction I was headed
when I took a left turning
at the wrong right turn
spent a year light-headed
now I'm better threaded
together we will overcome

this isn't what you're here for
you were meant to go somewhere
never what you were meant to do
you never should have had to deal with all this
STRAIN

incomplete and left undone
the chord fragmented
but at least it's sung
city-born and city-bred
looks like I'm dying
that slow suburban death

the rats all mutter in the gutter
in the sewer and the rush
as they rat race home
as a beast of burden I can carry your weight
maybe I can help you
home

© rob hinkal
Track Name: Counting
I spent 8 hours driving yesterday
seems only 4 spent moving
I spent since Friday on the road and roaring
and since this morning I've been stalled
it's been 4 days
since I last touched these strings
that momentum could be hard to break
I spend so much time so crunched up and cramped
I feel like screaming - I feel like screaming

it's been 5 years
waiting for this day
when I'll be leaving I'll be strutting when I'm leaving
I spent 5 years waiting for this release and release it is
I've gleaned nothing save some man's idea that I'm better
than I was before
when in truth, now I'm simply poor

that fucker seemed so very depressed
that fucker does nothing
that fucker seems so very impressed
maybe that fucker would be better off dead
the streets are clogged with the useless
thrice damned and nothing more
once cause born
twice cause Living
thrice cause damned cause they Live next door to each other

and I'm thrice blessed and I bless my soul
I can heave myself up out of this hole
I count once cause born
twice cause Living
and I count you as I'm blessed thrice
and I could you
as I'm blessed thrice.



©2006 rob hinkal
Track Name: Sever
Sever

You push me up against a wall
undress me like I was your own
pants first, no hesitation,
all this with our shirts still on

I want to walk on out
but your bedroom voice makes me just want you more
and this guilty conscience seems secondary
to being alone here on the floor

I want to cut you on out
razor your memories from my skin
but I'm the one who always bleeds
you don't feel anything.

Please, be careful with my sinner's heart for Heaven's sake
I seem impervious, but that doesn't mean that I don't still break This isn't that shiny, shrink-wrapped kind of love - we both know better - remember it's just a line: "You could wake up next to me forever."

Last night I could barely breathe
you with her in the other room
jealousy seems hypocritical
but I'm still tuned in to every moan

The carpet seems oddly like splinters
the walls betweeen seem paper thin
I imagine your hands upon her
does hers remind you of my skin?

I want to figure it out
where do you end and I begin
because I'm the one who always needs
you don't feel anything.

Please, be careful with my sinner's heart for Heaven's sake
I seem impervious, but that doesn't mean that I don't still break This isn't that shiny, shrink-wrapped kind of love - we both know better - remember it's just a line: "You could wake up next to me forever."

- Heather Lloyd
Track Name: Storm
It¹s the years first snow on the outside, and I¹m holding you on the inside... and nice try, but between us, it¹s an hour¹s drive. You know I have trouble with distance, you grow legends.. I just grow... distant. With the bus in the shop, it¹s quite a long walk. New Year¹s Eve was quite a storm, the time was racing. Eaten up in a frenzy by that stupid job of yours. And I never met so many bigots, all in just one night, but if this is LIfe, than it¹s not worth Living. please don¹t be like this. Just don¹t choose this. The atmosphere it gathers, for one last push. It shoves the twenty in the gutter, just out of reach. ANd I stretch and I pull but when you¹re neck down deep down in it, you just end up freezing. Please don¹t be like this, just don¹t choose this. chorus We are the chosen ones, things academics could not comprehend, or so they say. We have the force of muses, we carry their obsession, and we keep watch... we carry them through this storm. So why am I so hung up on people who waste their time? Crying over things that don¹t care to be cried for? The storm is rising, I feel it in my teeth, you lied to him, could you lie to me? This doubt is in my teeth. But, you know that 20 as well as I, if you could swallow your pride, it maybe just might just save your Life. But vision is dirty, and passion is dirty, and Living is dirty, and you want to keep so clean. You know I could set you free, no wonder you don¹t want to touch me. They know I could set you free, no matter, you don¹t want to touch me. chorus And I carried you every day.

©1998 rob hinkal